I'm sitting here hanging and snuggling with the tiniest mischevian, looking at our Christmas tree in our new home and feel so much gratitude. I feel overwhelmed with thankfulness and blessed beyond measure.
We have moved to a new home. I daily look around at all the light and space in our new home and smile. Moving here was an answer to prayer...it answered prayers I didn't even vocalize. The people we have met and the friends we have already made just being here nearly 6 months makes my heart happy. It is evident to me that God knew just what we needed and answered it in this house and neighborhood and town.
When I think about last Christmas and the season, I really in all honesty don't remember much. I don't remember feeling festive. I don't remember celebrating much. I know we had a tree...I can't remember where or when we got it. I don't remember purchasing presents for the kids...couldn't tell you what I got them...I can't remember sending out Christmas cards to people...can't remember doing any shopping for special gifts...although somehow all that took place.
I do remember being in and out of hospitals and emergency rooms. I remember praying every waking moment.
I remember my moments awake being greater than any monents of rest. I remember worrying. I remember telling God that I did not pray this child into this world only to have him taken away a year later. I remember telling God we weren't gonna go down like this. I remember feeling hopeless and full of fear. I remember feeling so blessed and so overwhelmed by the people far and wide who covered my tiny, sick son in prayer. I remember how people's prayers and kind words held me up right. I remember being so thankful that although we were away from home, we were with family that helped us tirelessly in incredible ways. I remember being so thankful for that, that although I was unaware of much going on beyond Cooper being sick that we had family available to stand in the gap and be a buffer for the girls so it wasn't overly traumatic for them.
Well, what a difference a year makes! There are seasons we all go through. What for some is a season of joy and happiness for others is a season of loss and pain. I feel this year so thankful. Thankful for one not to be where we were a year ago, but also thankful that no matter what occurrs, good or bad, loss or gain, joy or sorrow, hardship or ease, that God will see us through.
I find myself at the end of a year that held all of the above, but I am grateful. I am so very grateful for each simple thing that makes up this life. For the joy in Cooper's face seeing the tree all done up and the Christmas lights. For seeing him enjoy what last year he barely got to participate in. Grateful for the anticipation I see in the girls as they count down to seeing family and Christmas Day. I am grateful for a husband that is my very best friend that I have a genuinely great time with daily. Grateful for my little family, and all our family far and wide spread out, for those I'll get to see and hug tight...and those I won't. My heart feels so full. It feels like one of the best holiday seasons I can remember in a very long time, despite what could bring it down. And not because of the anticipation of more stuff and things, but because I feel perfectly content right where I am at this very moment with all that I already have. Everything else is just a bonus.
May 2015 for all of you be one full of content and gratitude as well as love and joy.
Merry Christmas to you from
Adam, Heidi,
Hannnah Grace, Abby Joy, and
Cooper James.
