A Moment to Vent

I need a moment to vent. Today has been a hard day for a few reasons. But I need to take a moment and vent my frustration...anger and sadness at this situation.
I understand that not everyone has or has had the privelege of growing up where they were able to know or be around those individuals wth disabilities. In this specific instance I'm talking about those with developmental disabilities. This has ALWAYS been a major heart tugger for me! My family has always stressed that a person cannot be judged by outward things or by any handicaps or disabilities one may have. So in highschool the few times I could - because this was such a HUGE deal to me and because I felt I had such a heart for it - I used my extra elective to work as a peer counselor for our schools DD kids. Honestly...best thing I could have done. Most rewarding STILL remember names and faces and moments that happened while I worked there. But it has always brought me to tears to hear or see someone call these people names or give them less than the respect they deserve.
Over a year ago I was blessed with being able to quit my most current job and move full time into working with adults with developmental disabilities. It's taken me to my recent job where I am doing the same thing but for much higher needs adults. This is something I've always wanted to do! One of these individuals is absolutely incredible. I had the opportunity to meet and know him before and now have worked with him for the past few months. He is one of those people that's a bright spot in your day regardless of what you have goin on.
My anger and sadness and frustration lies in this...a few weeks ago he was admitted to the hospital here for some basic seemingly treatable things. But upon being admitted basic needs and care were let go because he isn't what most people would consider "normal." He went in with minor problems and tonight lays at home - with people that love him - but in a fatal condition really beyond anyone's control. The things that were not done to aid in his health and well being while in the hospital are glaring and alarming! The comments that were made to his major caregiver and other staff about how it's beyond belief that we'd want to prolong or save his life...because of who he is!!! There aren't even words. The sad thing is that if any so called "normal" person had been admitted for the same types of problems he was having they would have been treated not only promptly and with haste but with respect. And I am beyond sad as I sat next to him today thinking that this wonderful, incredible human being won't be here anymore. And angry as I think that it could have been prevented! And I just don't understand. I don't understand how as far as we've come with so many things these days...how we still manage to carry these ridiculous ideas of what is normal and right and that "perfect" is best. That anything different than we know is automatically wrong and bad. That someone who is seemingly "non-normal" is someone we would never want to get to know or could possibly love. This is very unfortunate because I have learned and gained more from those with disabilities than I may ever from anyone else. And it's unfortunate because they have so much to give and to contribute.
So tonight I'm just disguted...and sad...and reflective. Knowing that it's something that won't really change. That there will always be those that have the hearts big enough to love and respect those who are different...and those who will continue to think that different is ugly and unwanted.

Lazy Day Out

The weather has been SO super nice lately and today was no exception. Adam suggested we get out and go to the lake so he could fish and we could all be outside. So that's just what we did! Adam fished...Barry explored and us girls hung out in the sun and snuggled. Here are some pics from today. :) I am SO ready for spring full time!

5 Months Has FLOWN By!

Next Monday Hannah will be 5 months old!! Yikes! It goes so fast!! One more month and she'll be half way to her year birthday!!! She is absolutely too much fun. I think every day I love her more immensely! So when we went to Washington a couple weekends ago she found out she could squeal..so she's incorporated that into this laugh that she has started doing. It's the cutest little joyful laugh! We're not even sure what's funny but it doesn't take much to get her goin! I'll try to get it on video sometime here. She's always been a baby that wants to be moving...either herself or with whoever she's with. She's a good snuggler but it doesn't happen without some part of her little body moving! She scoots pretty good and ends up in the ODDEST positions when we go check on her at night or wake up to get her. She loves people and is very social! I'm honestly looking forward to when she starts crawling because I think she'll have SO much fun getting into things. I know that sounds crazy as a parent and I'm sure there are those of you who think "Just wait." But I know what her crawling means and I'm excited. I think she'll be more independent and we fully plan on making everything at her level baby friendly so she can do just that! It will be fun to see her take off and finally get to those things she's trying so hard to get to now! I'm excited to see her reach this stage! For those reasons and that she'll be more mobile on her own so she won't need to be right with you to be happy...she can follow on all fours if she'd like to! Again I'm sure some thinks that's crazy and I have no idea what I'm in for...but I know. I was that kid! :) The more she learns and grows the more excited I get. She's too beautiful for words! More later....

What is my DEAL!!!??

I have always been a person that's preferred saltier, spicier foods over anything sweet. I hate fast food and am super picky about meat...and when it's come to sweets I could really leave it. Adam would have ice cream here all the time and I could pass it up no problem. My only weakness really was cheesecake. Always has been. ...But then I got pregnant! Half way thru I decided I NEEDED ice cream! I needed the super chunky with carmel dripping in it smothered with things ice cream!

In the begining when nothing else sounded good - including the recommended saltine crackers I suddenly could only eat and CRAVED pop tarts! I hadn't eaten much less thought about a poptart in 10 years! Now it's all I could eat. The weirdest thing though...before getting pregnant I HATED french toast. I don't know why but the thought of it repulsed me...I never wanted to eat it and every now and then Adam would make it and I'd opt out. I don't know what happened but since being pregnant and even now it's become a staple! I mean I have it every couple of days! I can't get enough of it! And it has to be smothered in syrup and powdered sugar!! I don't get it! I don't know what happened but suddenly my body (although I beg to differ) cannot get enough french toast! Adam laughs at me because he'll ask what I want for dinner and I reply "How 'bout french toast!" It's really become a disease! I'm not sure what happened but somewhere along the way french toast became my best friend!

Cloth vs. Disposable...Who wins???

For those who know...and even for those who don't - after we had Hannah in October things kind of fell apart job wise for me. Currently I am working 2-3 days a week for a woman here locally who has two high needs people with down syndrome. But because of the severe cut in income and money in general we've had to start finding some creative ways to cut back. Now we realize me being able to stay home with Hannah for the most part is definitely worth it and that it will all work out in the end...but some days it makes us very weary to have to be constantly worrying about money. Before we had Hannah Adam and I discussed the possibility of trying out cloth diapers. I wasn't too sure at first because I remembered them as the kind my mom used to use on us kids with the horrible plastic pants that went over them and the safety pins that kept coming undone! Well I researched it a bit before Hannah was born and talked to a few friends who have used them and kind of settled on the Bum Genius brand of diapers...but we didn't have a whole lot of money at the time to get them and it got put on the back burner.

I order all my diapers off off Diapers.com because by the time you order what you need you end up with free shipping...and you get rewards and money off your next orders etc...plus they are delivered within 3 days or so of your order - sometimes less! Well recently I noticed they have Bum Genius cloth diapers on the site and have decided to try them out for sure. I ordered one-which I realize won't get us thru even an afternoon - but I want to try it out! So far it seems to be a snugger fit with more potential than her disposable diapers. If we like these and it works I will order a few more so we can have a couple days worth and plan on using any disposable diapers for trips out or stays away for the day. It will definitely add more laundry to the list...but I'm doing laundry pretty much every day anyway so I figure what's a couple more loads! It's better than doing dishes! At least in my book! So we'll see how these work! So far I'm impressed. They're obviously a litlte bulkier than regular diapers but they're size adjustable so you don't have to buy multiple sizes and fit babies from 7-35 lbs. So I'm crossing my fingers but like I said am so far impressed! Cloth diapers have come a long way from the nasty plastic pants and dish rag looking things they used to be! And if it saves us money in the long run...I'm all for it!

Pops & Hannah

This video is from Christmas time...my sister took the video of my dad bouncing and singing to Hannah....very cute!

It's Official!!!

(Holly and Kevin)

My sister Holly just got engaged last night!!! Her boyfriend Kevin flew back home from where he has been stationed in the army for the last while and right when he got off the plane he proposed to her. I have yet to see pictures or get tons of information because she's still there but I am MOST excited for her!!! The cool thing about their story is that they've known each other their whole lives. Our families are very good friends and she and Kevin and my sister Rebecca all grew up together in church and have been good friends...until a year ago when they noticed each other as more than friends!! What's been funny is both girls knew that whoever they end up with for life is going to have to know and understand the twin thing that they have going on and it's been a MUST that they get along with and possibly know the other sister! This has been so for both of them and I'm so excited! Both of the men in my sisters lives are phenomenal and I am so excited to see where life takes them...and all of us as sisters and friends!

Their plan is to get married in August (they knew they were getting engaged) and I am SO excited to be a part of this whole thing! I'm glad I get to be here for the whole process. Both of you girls are two of my absolute best friends! I am so excited for this summer! :) CONGRATS HOLLU!!! Smoochie Schmoos!
(My beautiful girls!)

Good Eatin!!

How Time Flies....

Well it's February...and I'm ready for spring! But it seems horrible to hurry things along because since having Hannah time has flown by! So she's 4 months now and doing great. She's a WONDERFUL baby! She's very smiley and laughs all the time...especially when she sees dogs! She loves dogs it seems! She sleeps pretty well through the night and seems to be getting her first tooth!! She's so much fun to be around and we just love her to pieces! We've started feeding her rice ceral and oatmeal by spoon and she loves it! Actually I gave her sweet potatoes today and she was NOT happy when I stopped feeding it to her and took it away! She's an absolute doll! She takes wonderfully long marvelous naps! But she still fights sleeping at night. Funny thing is I (along with everyone else) look at her and see Adam but recently I looked at a few baby pictures that my mom had given me of me and it's crazy! We look identical!! It's great how a child can look at different times like each parent! She has great kissing cheeks which we never fail to take advantage of!

We had our first play date the other day...which was really more for the moms at this point than the girls but once they all get a few months older they'll have so much fun! I am thankful these girls are around!

More Later...