...at least that's what I'm beginning to believe. This is baby #3...and I definitely did not feel this good with either of the girls. Granted, I am in better shape than I was with either one of the girls, but with Abby I was sick for about 4 months. I just felt so ick and blah all the time. Then I got sick with that swine flu later on in the pregnancy, and I had a screaming toddler who refused to stay in her bed and would instead get out and scream and yell for hours despite constant picking her up and plopping her right back in bed.
From what I remember being pregnant with Hannah...I was very busy. And very stressed. I had a job that I loved but that was incredibly stressful. Adam and I lived in a group home where I was constantly on call for adults with disabilities. So it was almost like having children already because I was awake all hours of the night and it was a very physical job. Plus I retained so much fluid with Hannah! I look at pictures of me from the hospital with Hannah and I seriously do not recognize myself. I look as though the pregnant me swallowed my former self and came back as twice the person!
This time around I have felt minimally nauseous. I have actually felt pretty good. There are things that don't sound good as far as good goes always, but for the most part I feel pretty normal. I just feel like I'm exhausted once I actually sit down at the end of the day. This time however, I have Hannah that sleeps through the night and can actually be a good help if needed. And Abby that has always been a phenomenal sleeper and very roll with the punches and pretty easy going. And even though she is definitely the age of two now-a-days, the two of them can play together (mostly) and are really, compared to what I had going on in past pregnancies, pretty darn easy. So I feel very blessed this time around to have it so easy! If this is what many people feel when they are pregnant no wonder it's no big deal to be pregnant! :)
4.17.2012
4.14.2012
4.03.2012
Three.
I have always been taught that there are certain questions that one has no business asking. There are just some things about people's personal lives that although you may be curious as can be, it is not your right to know. I have noticed in the last several years since getting married and discussing when we'd have children that this is not the case for all. It seems to have become standard to ask other women about their plans to give birth and when and if they are currently trying (and then some go even further and judge that actual choices surrounding THOSE choices).
Now having two children of my own, I can understand people's excitement. I have four nieces and another niece or nephew on the way this summer and I love them all immensely. There is obviously something about pregnant women and babies that gets even the randomest of people up in arms and excited. However, as close as I am with even my sisters, I would never think to ask if they were trying to have a baby, or ask what was taking so long, or if, now that they are pregnant are there plans for another one any time soon!
I grew up being taught that, as in this kind of situation, things can very personal and sometimes the answer can be a very painful one to answer. Adam and I tend to be more private with what happens between us and our decisions and we don't include others in said decisions unless necessary. But I am floored by the Q & A that occurs around children and having them. I always have a hard time when it comes time to share something about my personal life with others. Initially, I just feel weird. I obviously do not mind sharing it with our family and it's not even that I MIND sharing it with others, it just seems sometimes like such a personal thing to share. And it's always so hard knowing...when really is the best time?
So here is our story. Come October we are having our third and (God willing) final baby. I, am excited. I am ready. I have the initial fears and concerns that I believe all mama's do when they first find out and want to make sure all is well and stays that way. But in some aspects I feel that this time around some of the joy of having a third child will be lessened because of what people want to believe and will continue to choose to believe.
I had Hannah...I was sick. I was large. I had difficulties. And she had difficulties. LOTS of them. It took me awhile to come around to having Abby, not because I didn't want more kids but because there was just SO much happening with Hannah. I thought before we even got pregnant with Abby, this will be it. I will have this baby and we will be done. Two is perfect. I hate being pregnant. Life will be complete. Then we had Abby. ....And I couldn't do it. I loved her so much... We got to Abby's first birthday party and at the end of the day I was in tears! I remember turning to Adam and saying, "No! This can't be it! This cannot be the last time I throw a first birthday party!" I thought it would go away. I thought it would ease. That I would feel better as time went on. But I didn't. I felt worse. I prayed. I prayed so hard. I tried so hard to make the cons of having another baby outweigh the pluses of adding another...I couldn't. It literally got worse. I would watch the girls do different things and almost daily have this thought, "Someone is missing." I couldn't get past it. Adam and I talked so many times about adding another and we'd just go round and round. He, not against it, but really being perfectly happy with just two. And it kept getting worse. I've had several friends tell me, that are now done having kids, that when you are completely done having kids, you will know. And I didn't know. I couldn't say no. Neither Adam or I could say, this is it let's move on and move forward. I didn't know what to do! I didn't see this coming! I can remember being younger and genuinely wanting to be a mom, and having this thought at one point...I just never thought of being a mom and only having two children. But I am not the end all, be all decider in this family, it takes mutual deciding...until I think finally God, in His timing intervened and in a way made the decision for us. And I am so excited. :)
I am ready. I feel like we are making the right decision. And those are the best decisions. The ones that you finally make and know, you are doing the right thing. It feels good to know that this will be our family. Hannah is SO excited about getting to be a big sister again. The original plan was to wait a bit longer to say anything, but once Hannah found out there was no keeping that a secret. :)
What bothers me most, is those who have asked and I know will ask if we are having three to fulfill a wish to have a boy...trying for that boy. The answer to that is a firm NO. That to me is insulting. It's insulting to the two beautiful girls we have now and it's insulting to us. We are having three because we want three. Because we picture our family with three kids and not two. I would be lying if I said Adam wasn't slightly hopeful this one wasn't a boy so he wasn't So outnumbered, but what we care most about is a healthy little person. We are excited to meet baby #3. Whatever this baby is, he or she is already a blessing and already so loved. This was a decision made over SO much prayer and consideration and tears...and made with so much love. We did not make the decision based on how others are living their lives or what they want to do or not do we made this decision for us and our little family. And so it is with joy we will welcome baby Hermanstorfer #3 in October. Full of confidence we have made the right decision for us and our little family. Some familes are meant to have one child, some are meant to have 7...or whatever their number is. (I will not be having 7 kids!) But I think people are right...when you know you know. And we are excited to have one more crazy kiddo hanging around. :)
Now having two children of my own, I can understand people's excitement. I have four nieces and another niece or nephew on the way this summer and I love them all immensely. There is obviously something about pregnant women and babies that gets even the randomest of people up in arms and excited. However, as close as I am with even my sisters, I would never think to ask if they were trying to have a baby, or ask what was taking so long, or if, now that they are pregnant are there plans for another one any time soon!
I grew up being taught that, as in this kind of situation, things can very personal and sometimes the answer can be a very painful one to answer. Adam and I tend to be more private with what happens between us and our decisions and we don't include others in said decisions unless necessary. But I am floored by the Q & A that occurs around children and having them. I always have a hard time when it comes time to share something about my personal life with others. Initially, I just feel weird. I obviously do not mind sharing it with our family and it's not even that I MIND sharing it with others, it just seems sometimes like such a personal thing to share. And it's always so hard knowing...when really is the best time?
So here is our story. Come October we are having our third and (God willing) final baby. I, am excited. I am ready. I have the initial fears and concerns that I believe all mama's do when they first find out and want to make sure all is well and stays that way. But in some aspects I feel that this time around some of the joy of having a third child will be lessened because of what people want to believe and will continue to choose to believe.
I had Hannah...I was sick. I was large. I had difficulties. And she had difficulties. LOTS of them. It took me awhile to come around to having Abby, not because I didn't want more kids but because there was just SO much happening with Hannah. I thought before we even got pregnant with Abby, this will be it. I will have this baby and we will be done. Two is perfect. I hate being pregnant. Life will be complete. Then we had Abby. ....And I couldn't do it. I loved her so much... We got to Abby's first birthday party and at the end of the day I was in tears! I remember turning to Adam and saying, "No! This can't be it! This cannot be the last time I throw a first birthday party!" I thought it would go away. I thought it would ease. That I would feel better as time went on. But I didn't. I felt worse. I prayed. I prayed so hard. I tried so hard to make the cons of having another baby outweigh the pluses of adding another...I couldn't. It literally got worse. I would watch the girls do different things and almost daily have this thought, "Someone is missing." I couldn't get past it. Adam and I talked so many times about adding another and we'd just go round and round. He, not against it, but really being perfectly happy with just two. And it kept getting worse. I've had several friends tell me, that are now done having kids, that when you are completely done having kids, you will know. And I didn't know. I couldn't say no. Neither Adam or I could say, this is it let's move on and move forward. I didn't know what to do! I didn't see this coming! I can remember being younger and genuinely wanting to be a mom, and having this thought at one point...I just never thought of being a mom and only having two children. But I am not the end all, be all decider in this family, it takes mutual deciding...until I think finally God, in His timing intervened and in a way made the decision for us. And I am so excited. :)
I am ready. I feel like we are making the right decision. And those are the best decisions. The ones that you finally make and know, you are doing the right thing. It feels good to know that this will be our family. Hannah is SO excited about getting to be a big sister again. The original plan was to wait a bit longer to say anything, but once Hannah found out there was no keeping that a secret. :)
What bothers me most, is those who have asked and I know will ask if we are having three to fulfill a wish to have a boy...trying for that boy. The answer to that is a firm NO. That to me is insulting. It's insulting to the two beautiful girls we have now and it's insulting to us. We are having three because we want three. Because we picture our family with three kids and not two. I would be lying if I said Adam wasn't slightly hopeful this one wasn't a boy so he wasn't So outnumbered, but what we care most about is a healthy little person. We are excited to meet baby #3. Whatever this baby is, he or she is already a blessing and already so loved. This was a decision made over SO much prayer and consideration and tears...and made with so much love. We did not make the decision based on how others are living their lives or what they want to do or not do we made this decision for us and our little family. And so it is with joy we will welcome baby Hermanstorfer #3 in October. Full of confidence we have made the right decision for us and our little family. Some familes are meant to have one child, some are meant to have 7...or whatever their number is. (I will not be having 7 kids!) But I think people are right...when you know you know. And we are excited to have one more crazy kiddo hanging around. :)
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